Calm Parents, Happy Kids: The Secrets of Stress-free Parenting

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Calm Parents, Happy Kids will transform your experience of parenting. Relying on a combination of up-to-the-minute brain science and the kind of practical wisdom so often missing from parenting books, Dr Laura tells you not only the ‘why’ of children’s behaviour but also ‘how’ to have calm parents and happy kids . Melissa Hood, Founder of The Parent Practice, the UK’s leading parent support company What makes a child independent? Roots and wings. Independence is rooted in secure attachment – knowing that Mum and Dad are there when needed. Once children know we’re available if they want us, they can focus on their appropriate developmental tasks, which include becoming more independent in handling their responsibilities.” We both have a long way to go but this book is & has changed my way I parent. I've never believed in time outs or spanking to begin with but needed better tools to guide my son.

Coaching, Not Controlling. This final section is the longest and focuses on the three main ways you interact with your children: emotion coaching, loving guidance, and supporting mastery. A quote right at the beginning hits the nail on the head, I think: “It’s certainly more convenient to shush or threaten an upset child than to help her process her emotions” (91). More convenient for us, perhaps, but not effective in the long run, or good for our relationship. Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids by Dr. Laura Markhamhas great insights on how to meet children’s needs at different ages and how forming secure bonds helps them as they go through the challenges of growing up.I got from putting her advice and strategies into action. I put if off because I was too darn tired from sleepless nights to take on the task of reading

There are so many things I enjoyed about this book. First, while Dr. Laura does not talk down to the reader, she doesn't present information in some esoteric, can't-wrap-your-brain-around-it way either. She is clear and gentle, yet effective in the research and methodology she outlines in the book. Basically, she speaks to your heart in a way that gets it to open up without making you feel horrible about your past shortcomings as a parent. This book has been so helpful for my husband and I as parents. I read about half of it when my son was very young, but recently decided to start over and finish it. I am so glad that I did! and coach. I love the list of what children learn when parents allow the child's feelings and respond with empathy! This book is absolutely phenomenal!Toddlers don’t enjoy tantrums, their brains are not developed enough to maintain rational control when emotions are high (103) Dr. Laura Markham’s approach is as simple as it is effective. Her message: Fostering emotional connection with your child creates real and lasting change. When you have that vital connection, you don’t need to threaten, nag, plead, bribe--or ever punish.

Question for you – what are your triggers? How can you become more mindful of them? Connection is the secret to happy parenting Second, this book is designed to be used for a long time! Parents of toddlers will benefit just as much as parents of elementary school age children. In fact, the earlier you read this, the more of an opportunity you have to use it as your child grows! Dr. Laura has several sections that she breaks down further based on the age of your child. I love this because as every parent knows, there is NO one size fits all approach to parenting children as they move through various developmental stages. Each age and stage comes with its own unique set of challenges and opportunities. Dr. Laura has given parents the gift of learning how their parenting can evolve alongside their children's growth and development. I'm a brand new mama and highly interested in becoming a gentle parent. The words of this book resonate with my heart. She helps make my ideal parenting style attainable with clear, organized examples and detailed suggestions. Even though my little lady is still quite tiny, I can use this book now and also 3, 5 and even 10 years from now. I know our copy will be well loved as we learn how to best love our child and future children.Notes: I like the part about listening to your anger, rather than acting on it. "acting while we're angry...is hardly ever constructive...The constructive way to handle anger is to limit our expression of it" -p. 14 The beginning of this book had me really thinking of the Seinfeld episode where George's dad listened to some relaxation tapes that told him to say, "serenity now," every time he felt his blood pressure get too high. By the end of the episode all the yelling, "serenity now," turns to pent up emotions and the saying becomes, "serenity now, insanity later." I kind of worried and laughed a bit as I listened to this book that all the calming breaths and peaceful demeanor in dealing with young children would turn into insanity later! If you are looking for a very practical book on positive parenting, Calm Parents, Happy Kids is a great start. Here Dr Laura Markham introduces an approach to parenting that eliminates threats, power struggles and manipulation in favour of setting limits with empathy and communication. Her big idea is that children’s behaviour only changes when their relationship with their parents changes. And this change is possible when we shift our perspective from controlling our children to coaching them.