You're Not Enough (And That's Okay): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love
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Through personal testimony and relatable stories from other women struggling to find self-acceptance, Allie breaks down the many reasons why culture’s version of self-love is so toxic and detrimental. Instead, she implores us to focus our gaze not on trying to be enough and love ourselves more but on focusing on Jesus and his ‘enough’. She does this by breaking down five myths and correcting them with biblical truth; Christian, wife, mother, and author. I want to encourage people through all my work, and especially through my writing, and to add to their learning. Most of all, I want to point people to Christ with the gifts He has given me. his book is about dismantling the lies the toxic culture of self-love has fed us and replacing them with God’s truth.
While ‘the thief comes only to steal kill and destroy’ in the name of self-love, Jesus came that we may have abundant life through him (John 10:10). His way leads to joy, to peace, to wisdom, to comfort, to steadiness, to purpose – to all the things you’ve been told to look for in yourself but haven’t been able to find. You’re not enough. You’ve never been enough. You never will be enough. And that’s okay”. The book is filled with stories from Allie herself and other women. For a nonfiction book, I have never been brought to tears more. It was truly moving. In some cases, I was moved because I could say, “That was me” or even “That IS me!” But regardless, it is easy to empathize with most of the stories. We know them. We are them. And when they don’t line up perfectly, they match people we know and love. They match the hurt and unfulfilled lives we see all around us every day. The book was beautifully written. Like other such nonfiction books, the stories help make the practical application relatable. These are real lives deeply affected by our culture’s lies. That is reallynot okay, but there are answers, some of which can be found in this book. I have only recently become aware of Allie and her work. I have listened to her podcast maybe a handful of times, and so far, I have enjoyed most of what she’s had to say. In a couple of those episodes, she spoke strongly against the culture, and cult, of self-love that currently pervades our society. I had never heard such a response before, and it was refreshing. It not only helped with some selfish thoughts but also the degrading ones. You’re Not Enough (And That’s Okay)is not a self-help book, at least not in the traditional sense. This isn’t a book about helping yourself or “being the best you.” It’s a book about facing reality, coming to grips with what the world is really like, and how to be okay with all that those facts mean.
There are many more similar phrases that could go right up there with the rest, but you get the picture. In hyper reaction to what was seen as a culture that degraded women, society tried to find the best way to make us women feel adequate, like goddesses, able to have it all, and be just enough for everyone and ourselves (or, maybe justourselves). It is all about you and loving yourself. Once you can do that, you will realize how perfect you are, and you’ll be happy. It’s all about you and onyou. Unfortunately, and perhaps even fortunately, that is simply not true. Believing those things will not make you happy because you are not perfect. In fact, you are the problem. Thankfully, you are not the solution either!
While self-love depletes, God’s love for us doesn’t. He showed us his love by sending Jesus to die for our sins so that we could be forgiven and live forever with him. Self-love is superficial and temporary. God’s love is profound and eternal.” This is first and foremost a book for women (if the cover’s color didn’t already give that away!). But if it didn’t, perhaps the subject matter should. The topic of self-love is largely aimed at women, and young women in particular. You’ve probably heard many of the slogans, most of which probably made you feel good. “You just need to learn to love yourself first.”“Find the way to be the best you.”“You’re enough!”“Just be yourself.”“You can have it all.”“You will be happy once you accept everything about yourself.”“You’re perfect just the way you are.”